Jitb today: 08/13/2010 at 6:36 am 
Llama
Location:W Julian St,San Jose,United States
Kiria Wandering and Pondering
Both categories mixed together for laziness' sake.
Lately: 01/27/2010 at 3:26 pm
My son is 17 months old, I’ve lost a shit-ton of weight, and 3/4 of the time I am a fairly pleasant albeit very quirky person – at least, I think so and that’s what matters. (1/4 of the time, the evil demon emotional hell of femaledom is present, I think my life sucks, and I hate myself and everyone around me. Don’t take that personally. I used to be like that ALL of the time, and it’s a health issue on my part that I’m putting effort into daily. I’m sorry for being crabby. :/)
I have some contact with my family and I’ve been forced to go out and make friends, do the “mommy” thing. I kind of like it. I’m glad that I’m in touch with people, and also glad that being in touch with people does not take away from being part of a family like it does when you’re younger and noone’s married and whatnot.
I’ve had a few revelations over the past 6 years. Not in the religious sense. I’m still happily agnostic. But I’ve learned about why I was such a little bitch kid growing up and some of the behavior that carried over. I’ve learned about training and untraining behaviors and a lot of this has been useful in toddler discipline. I’ve also learned why the hell I have been fat and am able to consciously be aware of the effect food has on the mass of my body. I’ll be posting more about these revelations. Hopefully, the writing will be mildly engaging, somewhat entertaining, and potentially educational.
I keep my kid’s blog way more faithfully than my own. It’s easier to write about a kid because all of the new shit he does is proof positive of this neat development process. My own life, on the other hand, is mostly dedicated to making sure this kid doesn’t get into trouble and develops some sort of social skills, ghetto-fabulous as our family tends to be. 
I also want him to grow up knowing some of all of these kids that either he’s grown up playing with or that my friends out of town have that are all of similar age. I also also want him to know the story of his childhood. I also also also want to remember these things myself; I actually don’t offhand so I like to look at the pictures and journal entries to remind myself (which makes me remind myself of a milestone collage I’d like to do for his site!)
And now it is time to do some more focused writing!
How did YOU know when I found the one?: 12/23/2009 at 3:29 pm
Dear unmarried person,
Look.
I know there’s a lot of pressure to get married. Both you and your partner are being pressured constantly. Even if you don’t pressure each other at all, society and family do it frequently. But honestly, we all do pressure our significant others to get married when that’s the path we wish to take in life. There are benefits to being married in the eyes of society, family, and the law. And marriage, or a proposal of marriage, are the most romantic things EVER! What better feeling than to be with that one special person who was meant for you, and to know that he or she also wants to be with you forever?
Stop.
Take a GOOD look at your relationship, because finding the one is NOT about flowers, candy, cards, romance.. any of that shit. Finding the one is not about how often your lover says the right things to you.. makes you feel loved, attractive, smart, appreciated, understood with carefully chosen words, plucked just right so that no thorns could possibly sting your delicate feelings. You don’t need constant reaffirmations when you’ve found the one, because it’s pretty easy to be secure in that when you have.
I want to add the disclaimer that none of us, none of you, none are immune to tragedy. I do not speak these words with smugness. I speak these words with gratitude for the one I am proud to wake up next to and having all of our lives today and hopefully many, many tomorrows.
YOU knew when I found the one because if you heard about our “relationship status” in any way, it was through news of our living together, engagement, marriage, and kid. The things that prompt celebrations that other people sometimes come to and/or a little critter that keeps getting bigger somehow – those are relationship changes. Otherwise, our “relationship status” is not an issue for the rest of the world to be part of. Should it dissolve, there would be news of that.
You didn’t hear that I was unhappy with my relationship for any reason, that I was mad at him for any reason, that I wanted him to propose to me, anything about our sex life specifically, any of our issues or problems, or anything that five hundred people or the world in general should really not be privy to if it is ever the case.
Also, don’t let your friends think your only hobby is being a boyfriend or girlfriend. If it is, he or she is not the one.
San Francisco’s ancient ruins: 08/28/2009 at 5:30 pm
I heard that this is culturally significant but far newer. Perhaps they have honed their building techniques a bit.
Skinny clothes: 08/05/2009 at 1:06 pm
It’s amazing how different clothing looks while my body is at different sizes. I can fit myself visually, even through the weight loss process. I spent some time going through my skinny clothes in storage; that’s really fun, like going shopping but you already own it all. I’ve been able to comfortably get into clothing that looked almost like doll clothing back then. Granted, at this weight I should probably cover up more than this form-fitting tank top and shorts, but it’s damn nice being able to get them on.
About conforming and teasing: 07/28/2009 at 6:28 pm
I will preface this by saying that I had a pretty nasty childhood problem with being teased, because I really had some shit-tastic social skills and nobody took the time to follow up. That being said, I am not a victim any longer; I was merely uneducated.
I have found a paper on the topic of teasing recently that I will likely reprint here if general permission is given. The basic premise that I extracted was: do not mad at anything anyone says to or about you. If you do not hear words, you do not see words, and you are not otherwise aware of words, they cannot hurt you. And furthermore, being offended is a choice! You don’t have to make it. The principles have helped me find serenity in my life lately, as I am trying to just Not. Be. Hurt. about shit.
Anyway, this came to mind pondering someone I have heard about who has a daughter. The guy cut his hair because the daughter was apparently being teased about it. My instinct is to go in the opposite direction – find a way to giggle about the teasing and remain “cool” while I made no such modifications to my looks.
